Lindsey's Revenge
by Pylea Princess
Summary: Revenge, sweet, no matter what form it takes...
1. It Starts

8/1/04

I Own nothing! Only un owned junk : )

Lindsey's Revenge, Chapter 1

After To Shanshu in LA

I'm hoping this is a humor fic, like I said, HOPING

Lindsey was pissed. That bastard Angel had chopped of his hand! His freaking hand! Now he couldn't play his beloved guitar! Well, he was going to make sure that blood sucker had what was coming to him.

He laughed evilly as he read threw some books he had bought at the bookstore down the lane. The _occult_ book store that is. Not the naughty books store, though Lindsey did frequent that joint many a time. Everyone did. In fact, that was where he'd seen the English dude that worked with Angel.

Lindsey looked at the book before him, his eyes scanning for the most horrid, terrible things! That was when he saw it, the perfect spell.

It would make it so Angel would be his slave and he could make him do _things… bad things…_

Lindsey relished the thought. He then proceeded to gather the herbs, and light some candles. He read the Latin just fine, but had trouble with the German. He stumbled, mispronouncing some of the words, but the book said that would be ok.

Lastly but not least, Lindsey threw the herbs into the candles, causing the room to get all hazy. The fumes clogged Lindsey's throat, and he blacked out from lack of oxygen. When he woke up, he noticed he couldn't breath!

He gasped and gasped, but his lungs just wouldn't get filled! Then he stopped. He didn't need air… 'Uh, oh' his mind thought and he looked at his hands, BOTH of them.

"Crap!" he said, and sighed. Well, the spell was true to it's word, it did say he'd have control over Angel, just not _how._

Then an equally as evil idea as his earlier attempts came to mind. He could control Angel right? He could destroy his life! That's just as bad as not having two hands, right? Lindsey then proceeded to laugh evilly. He'd make Angel look like a total fool!

You like? Review and I'll love you! : )


	2. Pretty in

8/4/04

Lindsey's Revenge Chapter 2

Lindsey walked out of the office and looked around the hotel. "Hmmmm" he put his hand to his chin. "Where to start.." then his eyes focused on some very important looking filing cases. He tip toed over there, and was about to start his search when Cordelia came into the room.

Forgetting he was in Angel's body, Lindsey hid behind the closet. "Uh? Angel, why are you hiding?" Cordelia asked, hands on her hips.

A smile formed on Lindsey's or Angel's, but you know. "Because, Cordelia, I'm a stupid dork that likes to cut off very talented lawyer's hands, so they can no longer play guitar!" he said. Cordelia raised her eyebrow and said "whatever, I really need a break from this place" she then sat down at the front desk, and started to paint her nails. The phone rang and she answered it.

"Hello! Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless!" she listened to the conversation and wrote down an address. She hung up and put on her coat. "Hey, Angel, I have to go puck up this check, tell Wes and Gunn ok?" she said, getting to the door. "Sure, Cordelia." Lindsey said and watched her go.

Lindsey sat around the office for about 10 minutes, bored out of his mind. Then he noticed the nail polish. The _pink_ nail polish. He laughed and scooped it up. He began painting his new temporary hands. _Both_ of them. He still couldn't wrap his head around that!

Gunn entered with Wesley in tow. "Hey! Anyone home!" Gunn called. "Hey guys!" Lindsey greeted them. Gunn stared at what Angel was doing. "Oh, uh, what a nice color?" Wesley was baffled. "I love pink! It's the _bestest_ color of the rainbow!" Wesley and Gunn's eyes went huge.

They briskly walked out of ears reach. "Man, he's lost it!" Gunn did the crazy signal, with the spinning finger and forehead. "Oh dear. What are we to do?" Wesley asked. Gunn shrugged.

"Hey guys! Let's bake brownies!" Lindsey was having so much fun! "Uh, I think I'll pass." Gunn said. Brownie baking was not part of the tough guy image. "Please?" puppy dog eyes. Gunn dragged Wesley into one of the other rooms.

"Dude! He's not lost it! He's ya know!" Gunn said, shocked. "What?" Wesley asked, confused. "He's hitting on us!" Gunn shuddered. "Well, it is true that vampires are bisexual by nature, but, you don't really believe that do you?" Wesley was skeptical.

"OK, you live in denial land, but I'm outta here 'fore he lays it on any thicker!" Gunn walked out the back door, and Wesley watched. 'Angel wouldn't, would he?' he thought, almost… hopeful? Nah!

I'll stop now! Please send in any suggestions, my friend seems to think it's ok, but she's as helpful as a mirror to a vampire, LOL. Please tell me what ya think, and what you want to see! : )


	3. Dear Diary

8/5/04

I own nothing! , this is for you, all the peoples who ever reviewed or e-mailed me!

Lindsey watched as both of the guys left. That one guy seemed to be a little freaked out, but that only made Lindsey smile. Now he could get to those files!

He walked over to the filing case, and tried to open the door. It was locked! Even with the vampire strength, it was locked! Lindsey sighed. How was he supposed to spy on their every move, if he couldn't even open the file cabinet.

Then an idea shaped in his mind. He could just go look in Angel's room and see if there was anything in there. He raced up the stairs, opened the door and paused.

Lindsey looked at how everything was so neat. "Geeze, what a neat freak." he said, and tripped over a stray shoe. Cursing he looked around. He then noticed a book under the bed. "Pay dirt!" he said and grabbed the book. He opened it with much gusto. It was Angel's diary. "Figures," Lindsey laughed as he opened to a random date.

"Hey, diary, it's me, just had to write to you. Today Lindsey came by, he said he wanted to quit Wolfram and Hart! That he couldn't take it that children were in danger. That took guts. It made me want to respect him. It made my, my feelings for him seem a little more real. That if he could come over to the good side, that, I don't know, maybe he would like me? This is so childish, but I can't help it. Whenever I see him, I feel I have to hide it, that if I let him on to it, just for a moment, and he didn't feel the same, that I'd die. Seeing as I'm already dead makes that much easier, but it'd hurt." Lindsey couldn't read anymore. He felt so sad. He actually had had a chance with Angel, but he'd thrown it away for a 7 figure salary, and a new office. He felt like crap.

Putting the diary away, he went to the book store to reverse the effects of this stupid spell, he couldn't stand it anymore. He's set Angel free, and then just leave….

Wellll? What do ya think? Is it too rushed? I know it was short, but I'm already planning the next chapter!


	4. Kiss of Death

8/7/04

Love the great reviews! Hey Charmedrox09, I think I misinterpreted what you wanted with the Lindsey/Angel and Cordelia action, sorry! But I will amend it!

Lindsey walked down the stairs, until a nagging feeling told him to look in the diary again, he shrugged and did. He flipped the book to a more recent date.

"That Lindsey is such a jerk! He lied about wanting to come over and help us! If I had a choice in cutting something off of him, trust me, it wouldn't be his hand! I can't believe I ever thought those things! He's not worth it." Lindsey's mind went into an uproar!

"You think I'm a jerk, do you? I'll show you jerk! Forget about reversing the spell, I'm not done having fun yet!" Lindsey laughed evilly!

Downstairs he heard the doors open and ran to see who it was. 'Cordelia! Perfect!' he thought and walked up to her.

"Hey Angel." She said, setting aside her purse and coat. "Hey" he said, and kissed her full on the lips. Shocked, Cordelia just stood there like a dummy. Then when her oxygen level was lowering out, she shoved him off.

"What the hell is your problem! What if Gunn had seen us! He would have staked your ass! And besides! What gives _you_ the right to kiss _me_!" She huffed.

"Gosh, you are so annoying! Do you ever shut up!" Lindsey yelled. Cordelia's shocked anger flicked to hurt, then back to determination. "OMG! You're Angelus! I promised Angel I'd stake you, and I will!" she pulled the desired item out of her purse and chased Lindsey through out the hotel. He so didn't want to die!

What do you think? Any suggestions? I'll probably use 'em!


	5. Weirdness Ensures

8/8/04

As always, this is for everyone who ever read or reviewed any of my work! Love you all!

Chapter 5

Cordelia ran after Lindsey, screaming curses. She chased him up stairs and down stairs. Threw rooms and around the hotel. The people passing by looked shocked as this seemingly mad woman chased a man around the hotel.

Wesley and Gunn pulled up and stopped by where Cordelia was. "Cordelia! What are you doing!" Wesley yelled. "Angel's gone evil again! We must stop him!" She screamed, flailing her stake about. "Crap! Get in, I have a plan!" Gunn told his girlfriend and she leaped into the truck's cab. "K, What's the plan?" asked Cordelia. "Duh, we hit him with my truck!" Gunn revved the engine.

Lindsey was tired. He'd been chased by a crazed Chase! And permanently he was cracking up, for he found himself laughing. "Well, I'm safe now" he said, and strolled over to the street. He had a bad feeling thought…. "Holy sh" But his terrible curse word was cut short as the chase presumed, only the aggressor was now a truck.

"Ahhhh!" Lindsey couldn't help but scream in terror!" Run while you can Fang Boy! I just got a full tank on this thing!" Gunn yelled as the truck was a mere 2 feet behind poor Lindsey.

"Wait? How can he be Angelus? He was Angel this morning." Wesley said. "Psht! Angel on Crack!" Gunn said, continuing the hunt. "OMG! If he's not Angelus, then" But now was Cordelia's turn to be cut off, as the truck hit something vampire-ed shape.

They all ran to see Angel(?) there, not to bad off shape, just out. "So, what do we do now?" Gunn asked. "Tie him up, duh!" Cordelia said.

That's it for this chap. I love all your wonderful suggestions and reviews!


	6. So, That's It?

8/13/04

Sorry for the lack of updates, but it was due to lack of inspiration

Chapter 6

Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn all ran over to where Angel was. "Is he out?" asked Cordelia. Gunn nudged Angel with his toe. "Yep".

Then he started to stir, and they jumped back. An essence seemed to pour out his eyes. Then it took the shape of Lindsey.

"Gawd, I hate this job" Cordelia said, taken aback. Lindsey turned the sound of her voice and cringed. "Oh, crap!" He said, as the three humans chased the evil lawyer around the hotel.

Across the street, a crowd was gathering, to gawk and laugh. Kate Lockley was in such crowd, and rolled her eyes. She began to shoo people away, as the scene across the street still went on.

"Get him! He's evil!" Cordelia's shrill scream reached Wes's and Gunn's ears. "Damn girl! You gotta be so loud!" Gunn said as she glared at him. Wesley meanwhile got out his trusty tazer, yes he has one, how could you not know he has one? : )

Anyway, Wes got out his tazer and pounced! He shocked Lindsey in the head, and Lindsey screamed.

Then Lindsey used his evil lawyer powers, and brought forth a cell phone! "Get me the freak outta here, NOW!" he yelled into the speaker. A big black limo pulled up and he jumped in.

The end. Yeah, I Know it was lame, sorry, : (


End file.
